I walked for sometime.The evening bled like a fresh wound,stark and bloody.Memories were like mud,it just stuck to me,refusing to let go.
Life have become a parenthesis,a finished thought,a done deal.
The river bank was wet and i was spent.A thought still lingered on my mind’s horizon,something like a beacon,something very much like an emotion.The apathy have started to slowly shatter,the masquerade was a failure .
I took a deep breath and i could feel my chest resisting the motion,it was refusing to move,it was refusing to live.
She was sitting looking at me,she looked almost serene ,in tune with the time,content.I knew she will come running for me if I show even a slight show of falter.She ,she,she…….
The evening light touched and she glowed like a candle.
I lost my capacity to laugh yesterday,the dumb muscles which were supposed to do that action didn’t do it ,they thought its enough,they took an endless leave of absence,bloody buggers.
I took another small step forward and lost my balance,damn…..
Before i fell she caught me again .“Gotcha ,Let’s sit for sometime ,shall we?” she smiled.
“I am tired of sitting” I told (well i tried to tell,what actually came out was ‘i m cied ob jiddin’).
She understood of course,she understands every thing .Actually rather than writing comics for fictional heroes like Batman and Superman we should start with a strip called “The mother”,the most powerful superhero in the whole universe.
She caught me and i sat down. I leaned on her and the evening breeze touched her curls and played with it.
The new doctors were better,they never told me that my case is incurable.They told me that nothing in life is permanent…..us ,our diseases,our neighbors,our prejudices.Everything has an expiry date,well that was oddly comforting in a way!
Old ones were strictly “modern” and they believed in frankness and they told my mother that I am not gonna leave much longer,well “screw you” that’s what i wanna say!
Honesty sucks ,there is nothing called as false hope,there is only hope.
I took one more deep breath and the sweet wet smell of rain filled my nostrils.My eyes got wet (well,those muscle worked just fine!).She wiped those away and started singing to me.I closed my eyes and started swinging to the tune.
Dedicated to my patient Shane Anthony and his gem of a mother.He is 16 years of old and he is suffering from Medulloblastoma
I can’t reduce your suffering by sharing this ,but i can share your courage.Love you.
(Please leave a comment and let me know what you think)